Tom Meagher says since his wife Jill was killed he has been inundated with stories of violence from women often too afraid to seek help from the police. Source: News Limited
JILL Meagher's husband Tom has spoken out about violence against women, saying he has been inundated with stories of sexual abuse from thousands of women.
In an emotional blog as part of the White Ribbon campaign, Mr Meagher also recalled the "chilling" and "disturbing" moment when he confronted his wife's killer Adrian Bayley in court.
"One of the most disturbing moments of the past eighteen months of my life was hearing my wife's killer form a coherent sentence in court," he wrote.
"It was chilling. I had formed an image that this man was not human, that he existed as a singular force of pure evil who somehow emerged from the ether."
Mr Meagher says his wife's death should highlight the problem of violence against women.
He said confronting Bayley also made him face the "more terrifying concept that violent men are socialised by the ingrained sexism" in our society.
READ TOM'S POST IN FULL
WHY WAS BAYLEY OUT, ASKS TOM MEAGHER
Mr Meagher, seen here with Jill's mother and brother, says confronting his wife's killer Adrian Bayley in court was a chilling experience.
POLICE APOLOGISE FOR USING JILL'S PHOTO
"What would make this tragedy even more tragic would be if we were to separate what happened to Jill from cases of violence against women where the victim knew, had a sexual past with, talked to the perpetrator in a bar, or went home with him," Mr Meagher said.
"The more I felt the incredible support from the community, the more difficult it was to ignore of the silent majority whose tormentors are not monsters lurking on busy streets, but their friends, acquaintances, husbands, lovers, brothers and fathers," he said.
He said he received messages from prostitutes who "felt it pointless to report sexual assault" and women whose tormentors received suspended sentences and they were "too frightened to stay in their home town".
Mr Meagher said his slain wife had introduced these issues to him before she was killed, and he had since tried to channel his rage against Bayley into focusing on how society allowed rape and violence to exist.
"I dreamed for over a year of how I would like to physically hurt this man, and still often relish the inevitable manner of his death," Mr Meagher said.
"But wouldn't it be more beneficial for Jill's memory, and other women affected by violence to focus on the problems that surround our attitudes, our legal system, our silence rather than focusing on what manner we would like to torture and murder this individual?"
"Adrian Bayley murdered a daughter, a sister, a great friend to so many, and my favourite person."
"I am the first one who wants to see him vilified and long may he be one of Australia's most hated people, but it only does any good if this example highlights rather than obscures the social issues that surround men's violence against women."
Last year, the Supreme Court handed Bayley a life sentence, with a 35-year non-parole period, for the rape and murder of Ms Meagher.
tom.minear@news.com.au
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