Lazy man's last-minute gift guide

Shoppers are expected to splurge more than $8.7b on gifts and decorations in the week before Christmas.

UH-oh, you've left it to the last minute - again.

But fear not. Time-poor males hustling depleted shopping shelves for gifts can avoid the Christmas Eve madness by following the Herald Sun's Lazy Blokes' Christmas Survival Guide.

A stampede of dishevelled men will be embracing the hallowed final minute gift-buying as shopping centres close in the evening following their marathon overnight operations.

And beware. The relationship fallout with spouses who receive ill-conceived presents can't be rescued by a festive kiss underneath the mistletoe.

>>> MORE: DEFENCE FORCE CELEBRATES CHRISTMAS AT SEA

>>> READ: MEN INVADE SHOPS IN PRESENT PANIC

>>> MORE: BOXING DAY SALES START EARLY

>>> READ: LITTLE MIRACLES HOME FOR CHRISTMAS

Reporter Jonno Nash with his genius last-minute Christmas gifts. Source: News Limited

>>> THINK OF A LAST-MINUTE GIFT IDEA WE'VE MISSED? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

Supermarket juggernaut Coles can salvage the most bleak-looking Christmas with colourful summer flower arrangements ranging between $9-$25.

But it's likely the bouquet, which could be nicely coupled with a generous box of chocolates, could tragically be in a limp and lifeless state as the pre-December swarm of organised gift-givers get in first for the most aesthetic floral ensembles.

Nevertheless there's a solution. With tomorrow's temperatures expected to swell to a scorching 31C, blame the heat for the plant's dehydrated appearance.

Another relationship-saving gift could be Tupperware.

Sure it's not high on Santa's wish list but a sixpack of plastic storage containers ranging between 200ml to 2L can secure leftover turkey from lunchtime's feast to be enjoyed during the Boxing Day Test cricket match.

Shop with a plan and always know what you're looking for. Source: News Limited

Smart. And females love the cricket, too.

Be careful when you venture into the cosmetic section.

Olay's anti-ageing cream, valued at $29.99, could complement her cabinet littered with endless supplies of artificial-coloured goo.

But be armed with a list of defensive responses. When your partner rips apart the snowman-printed wrapping paper she's likely to bark: "What? You think I'm looking older?"

Bottle-Os can be a quick fix gift haven.

If you're on a budget, buy a newly-formed boutique-branded brew that can pass as a lavish drop that's been fermenting for decades. This way you look like a generous wine connoisseur.

Make sure your support team is up to the task. Source: News Limited

Chemists stock a wide range of bottled, nose-flaring potions called perfume.

Avoid the popstar-endorsed brands. A spray of Justin Bieber's Someday can allegedly send you into a fatal career free fall in just 12 months.

Purchase products that flippantly use affluent language.

For example, the luxury cleansing sponge, priced at $7.15, can suggest you've splurged on your beloved.

You can also grab a handful of cleansing products at 7/11 and assemble them into a handmade hamper.

Roll on Dove deodorant ($4.99), Impulse Illusions Roses & Sandalwood antiperspirant ($6.79) and a four-pack of soap ($5.99) can cast you in the magnanimous light of Father Christmas.

A YouTube-guided giftwrapping tutorial can give the impression you've taken the time to handwrap your gifts.

>>> THINK OF A LAST-MINUTE GIFT IDEA WE'VE MISSED? TELL US IN THE COMMENTS BELOW

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